[ This article has been adapted and republished on Twenties + Adulting ]
Truly living an unapologetic life is challenging for some people, and I am realizing that I might be one of them.
It has been so hard to really attend to myself before others. The experiences that I have lived have mostly focused on pleasing and easing those around me. Even when I am engaging with people that I may not necessarily care a lot about, I enjoy making those around me feel comfortable and happy. However, bringing happiness to others should not be at the cost of my own happiness, and this is a theme that has slowly dawned on me.
If your cup isn’t at its fullest– if you don’t have enough water– how on Earth do you expect to help fill other people’s cups?
I have been practicing the art of self-development by truly being there for myself. There is an unspoken empowerment that comes with loving yourself, and it transforms your confidence. The intuitive part of your soul is comprised of more than just learned behavior following its conditioned patterns; it’s also the enigma of the spirit that leads us to our true purpose.These are some of the ways that I have navigated through the issues of self-sabotage in order to strengthen my self-love:
- CHECKING MYSELF FIRST- (with this comes learning to say NO) and by that I mean turning to my heart to asses what is it that I need to do or be before turning back to serve the world that is constantly calling for my attention. For me, it can be as easy as not looking at my phone until I have re-centered myself through my workouts or writings. After giving myself the attention I need, I can focus on others completely without my personal inquietudes getting in the way.
- PROCESSING MY EMOTIONS- I have always been impatient and eager to jump right into things without waiting. Slowing down and assessing the emotional information that I absorb each day before reacting or speaking out truly opens my mind and spirit to a place of inner peace that ultimately frees me. While this is perhaps one of the hardest challenges that I am still working towards mastering, it is crucial to overcoming my negative habits and evolving into the best version of myself.
- LOOKING AHEAD- This one is a tricky one, because it’s all about finding that perfect balance between living in the moment and propelling myself towards my dreams and goals. I’m learning that what is ahead of me is entirely up to me, yet I am aware of how easy it is to get stuck in the stagnant past. By simply looking ahead whenever those negative projections of the past arise, my path seems easier to follow. Be it through your career, passion projects, or family, do whatever you have to do to remind yourself of what lies ahead of you and the intuitive gut instincts will help you understand your life’s purpose and direction.